Sunday, October 15, 2006

Wedding Industry Blues

Although, "The Knot" and other related wedding sites are actually very helpful with wedding ideas and planning, they also cause more stress than I believe is necessary.

I was just sent an email warning me that at the 10-month mark I need to book my officiant, hire a band/dj, and buy a wedding gown. WOAH. I haven't even made it through the very basic steps like setting a date or picking a location. I think I'm going to feel 10 steps behind through this whole year.

J still thinks we should choose a date in the summer of 2008 so that we have 22 months to plan. While initially this argument could seem logical, I believe in reality it would cause 22 months of worrying about tiny details instead of a mere 10 months. I am not known for my decisiveness, so given 22 months I believe I would plan one wedding -- then scrap it and start over.

I also like the idea that we will have more limited choices with only 10 months to go. For the last 5 years I have been a vegetarian (who eats fish). This means that when I go out to restaurants I generally have 1-2 seafood options and 1-2 vegetarian options. If I ever were to consider eating meat, I think the biggest disincentive would be that I would have to choose from the entire menu (how do omnivores do it?!)... If I have difficulty selecting between 2-4 choices, imagine how hard it would be if EVERY location was available at ANY date we wanted??

While planning a wedding from the other side of the country may justify a longer planning period--I have to recall that I selected a college based solely on brochures and websites. If I could choose where I would spend the next 4 years and spend a whole lot of money, I have to believe that we can select a location to spend one day with less stress than I am feeling right now. Or maybe, it is really the reverse--spending a lot of money on a single day puts a lot of pressure on getting it right.

Okay but enough whining, for now. Here is a picture of my ring (on top of a road map of Tuscany).

Monday, October 09, 2006

An Italian Proposal

You may have noticed that it has been a while since I have posted to my blog. The real reason for this is that I have not been able to decide how to disseminate information on my trip.

I was looking forward to posting entertaining stories and pictures of our travels in Italy. However, recent events in Tuscany have managed to overshadow the more amusing stories, such as J's inability to drive a stick shift car.

The big news is that on September 17th, in a small town in Tuscany called San Sano, J asked me to marry him. Of course, I happily said yes. Luckily for me, I did not yet realize that along with a fabulous and loving husband to spend the rest of my life with, saying yes also gets me piles of recommended reading, a zillion to-do checklists, and a year of stress planning a large and expensive party.

Yes, wedding planning has begun. It turns out that despite having dreamt about this event for most of my life, I have absolutely NO idea of what type of wedding I want. And anything that I think looks nice, I can't afford.

I used to worry that J's family would want us to have a Korean ceremony that might "intrude" into my various wedding dreams. Now, I honestly hope that they do so that I can have a section of the wedding planned for me! J would really like a Korean aspect to the wedding and I think it would mean a lot to him if his parents wanted us to have a Korean ceremony. However, J wants his parents' blessing on anything cultural for our wedding (I think he is afraid he would do it wrong and embarrass his parents or that he won't have enough extended family at the wedding to properly perform the ceremony) and we haven't yet gotten word on what that is.

J and I went to visit my future in-laws last weekend. They were really sweet, especially when J's mother told her mother that I was to be her daughter-in-law. The only negative thing of the weekend was that I came down with a fever and spent 12 miserable hours in bed.

So now that the big news is out of the way, stay tuned for a recap of my Italian vacation.