Friday, July 03, 2009

One Week Wait

Today I am six weeks (5 weeks and 6 days) pregnant. Only 6 days until my first OB appointment - and it seems like I'm still pregnant! My first appointment is on July 9th, and I'm really really hoping that we get to see a heartbeat at that appointment. If we see a heartbeat, we will tell J's family during our birthday weekend in Philly.

I haven't told my family yet, but I was thinking of telling them today. Inexplicably, I'm more afraid of saying it outloud to too many people than too many people knowing. Even when I do share the news I'm trying to approach it as a positive pregnancy test and nothing more. I know that I would call my mom if I had bad news at my first appointment, so it would be best for her to know in advance when it is coming.

I have told a total of 4 people so far - for various reasons. The first person I told was my best friend since she was in town the day after I got my first positive test. The second person I told was a girl I met at Korean class. I only told her because she doesn't have any connections to anyone else I know - sort of like sharing the news with a stranger - and only because she told me that she was 11 weeks pregnant. The good news is that if everything works out well, we may have another half - Korean family in the area with a baby at almost exactly the same age. I also told my knitting group. Since knitting group has essentially evolved into an infertility support group, we always discuss what cycle day we are on when we are planning on going to fertility clinics, etc, so it was hard NOT to tell them.

Every person I've shared the news with knows about my losses. 2 of them have gone through miscarriages themselves before and can very much relate to not wanting to share the news widely. I know there is nothing I can do now except hope for the best.



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