Thursday, November 09, 2006

Wedding Planning

Wedding planning has become the biggest time consumer in my life right now. I think this is for one (or more) of the following reasons:

1. I am indecisive. This is a big one-indecisiveness means that I will ALWAYS look for further options, even when the one I have is perfectly good.
2. I just don't care enough/I don't know what I want. I'm guessing my indecisiveness is due to something resembling apathy. This may be more due to reason #3, but the fact that I end up with finalists that do not resemble eachother at all must mean that I don't really know what I want.
3. Online research. Planning a wedding on the west coast from the east coast means that, instead of spending wedding time actually looking at potential sites, florists, caterers, etc., I can spend HOURS looking at ideas from other weddings that will never help me. I have "fallen in love" with locations in Albany, New York and Southern California, for example.
4. Me and J don't agree on general parameters. I lean towards gardens, he won't stand for tables on the grass. I lean towards cozy, he cannot accept seating guests across multiple rooms (see Reception Site below).

So here is where I am in the planning process:

Wedding Date: Narrowed down to a Saturday in August 2007 or Sunday September 2nd during Labor Day weekend.

Reception Site: 2 finalists right now. (1) Tibbetts Creek Manor which can hold 90 people inside and 50 people outside on a deck. Nice gardens for the ceremony. There are multiple doors between inside and outside. I think this would have enough "flow" to keep guests happy, J believes that people seated outside would feel slighted. (2) The Arboretum can hold at least 125 people outside on a patio. We would need a tent in case of weather. Indoor area can seat 80, which could be used for buffet table, dancing, etc. Unclear how many people can really be squished outside so there may be the same issue as #1.
And there are three potential resolutions, J changes his mind, we cut down the guest list, or go back to the drawing board on sites. It looks like we're leaning toward the drawing board, although this has definitely resulted in more than one emotional breakdown.

Wedding Dress: Inspired by a nightmare in which I forgot to buy a wedding dress and had to run to a store between the ceremony and reception once I realized I had forgotten this "minor detail", I went dress shopping last weekend. I didn't find "the one" (and to be honest, don't really believe in the concept). I found things I liked in dresses, but I wanted to modify all of them to make them "perfect". I cannot really see purchasing an expensive dress that needs so many alterations that may not actually turn out the way I want. No pictures here, though...just in case.

Wedding Colors: Coral and Sage Green with Ivory and Peachy colors.

Guest List: Draft is in Excel already. My mother thinks it is simply hilarious that all my planning is done in Excel. Personally, I don't understand how anyone ever planned anything without Excel. My coworkers think it is hilarious what happens when a Consultant plans a wedding--I've even heard of Visio seating charts (which seems like a great idea to me, although I think my mother might die laughing - that is if she knew what Visio was...).

Groomscake: This seems to be one of the only things I can get very excited about. I can't write about all my great ideas, just in case J decides to look. Here is one picture I found today that I think would be perfect for J.

Korean-related Stuff: J spoke to his parents and his mom and dad are extremely supportive of us having a Korean ceremony. I think it will be a ceremony for only family between the ceremony and reception (during the cocktail hour). We'll probably come out for a bit in Hanbok, but change back into traditional American wedding attire for the first dance.

In more fun stuff, I am thinking about having an Asian version of the Candy bar that is seen at so many weddings on The Knot - the Asian Snack Bar! Of course, we will enjoy it the most, but I think it would be fun to have my favorite Japanese snacks and his favorite Korean snacks for everyone to try.

I haven't even gotten to all the details, but I can tell that I'm boring you already. The point of this entire post, if you haven't gleaned it already, is that despite being engaged for almost 2 months, we are no further along in the wedding planning process than I was when I was 14 years old. I have ideas, but nothing finalized. Actually, I may have thought I knew more about my wedding back then.

J's family is definitely more engaged in wedding details than I expected them to be based on their initial reactions. His mother and sister are most excited about the Registry and china patterns. His sister looked at wedding dresses online with me and asked if I was going to change my name when we got married. When we went up to Philadelphia for dress shopping last weekend, I even got my sister to come to dinner with J's family. We went out to Korean food and they thought it was wonderful when my sister said she liked Kimchi without prompting! I think my sister was a bit scared to meet them because of the stories she's heard, but it went very well. I was concerned that my sister might meet his family for the first time at the wedding, so at least one wedding-related concern is alleviated.


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